Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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