her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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