dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Damn victory sex feels great
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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