Dual....:-)
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
