fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
