Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
