Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
