Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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