i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
