Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
