We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
