Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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