she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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