you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
