Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
