Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
