Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
false alarm. still invincible.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
