I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Alive.
So much puke
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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