Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
