so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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