Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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