I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
