wanna go halves on a baby?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
