five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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