Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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