HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Can you bring me the toilet please
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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