i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
How's work?
Spinning.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
my poor anus
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
