Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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