you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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