we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
