I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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