are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
