yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
