she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
