you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
