I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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