I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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