NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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