is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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