I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize