I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
