sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
