it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
