I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
