Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
