the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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