God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
