he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
