I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
where are you?
Hypothermia
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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