the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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