It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
